We were not sure what to do on our second day in Delhi. We were full of ideas, but most of them involved sights in opposite directions. We narrowed it down to either going north to Red Fort and Chandni Chowk (A massive fort and shopping area respectively) or to go south to the Lodi gardens, Hanuman's tomb, and the zoo. After a bit of back and forth debate, we decided to head south to the zoo, and then to the Lodi gardens. If we felt up to it, we would then go to Hanuman's tomb.
As we headed down our alley we were greeted by a tuk-tuk driver at the end of our road, where our road and Mickey mouse road meet. The tuk-tuk driver was very polite, but very insistent that we ride with him. He asked us where we were going, and I replied "To the station, we will walk." he laughed and asked, "Well where after the station?" I smiled and told him, "To the zoo." He smiled back and told us that he would take us there straight away for only 100 rupees. I told him no, because the walk to the station is free, and the ride on the metro would be something like 40 rupees for the both of us.
The driver followed us down the road and continued trying to convince us. He said, "What I tell you is a fair price. I will take you straight there to the zoo. If it is the price you are unhappy with, I cannot help you. You should take a ride from me though." We continued our walk and smiled at him and told him my new found mantra of "No thanks."
By the time we hit Pusa road he was still with us and and then he informs us that "The zoo is closed on Friday. I can take you somewhere else though." This stunk of bullshit to me. First off, why would he be fighting so hard to take us to the zoo for 2 blocks if it was closed? Second, this is a well known con in India. The con goes like this, a driver approaches you and asks you where you are going and you say "I'm going to hotel X" and the driver says, "Oh hotel X? Too bad, it closed. Just last week. I can't take you there because it doesn't exist any more." But don't fret dear friend, because GUESS WHAT? HE knows a better place that his cousin owns that is cheaper and nicer, and he can take you there straight away! (and pocket a hearty commission)
I figure that is this drivers aim, and feel quite proud of myself for being one step ahead of his game. After all, why would the zoo be closed on a Friday? We smile at the driver again and tell him, "No thank you. We will walk." and eventually he shrugs us off and we part ways. It would only be when we would get to the zoo that I would figure out what a deal that driver was offering me. I would soon regret telling the driver "No thanks."
We walk down to the metro station at Karol Bagh and ride our little blue line to the Pragati Maiden station. This ride passes through the Rajiv Chowk station, which is where the blue and yellow lines meet, which makes the train SUPER crowded. Rajiv Chowk is an exercise in human flexibility and patience. Imagine trying to push 100 people into a train car that fits 75. Now imagine that they all ate curry the night before, and that its 27 billion degrees outside. Yeah, its like that.
During this sweaty stinky tug-a-war, I feel a hand in my pocket! My god, I'm being pick pocketed! I scan left and right to see who just picked my pocket, but there are far too many people to have any clue. This is the first time in my life I have ever been pick pocketed. I guess its a good think this isn't the first time I've been to a big city. This isn't my first time at the rodeo folks! So Mr. pick pocket gets a fist full of ass. Who puts wallets in the back pockets in big cities? I mean, really? What did he expect to find in there? Gold doublooms? No such luck! Pick pockets 0, Allen 1.
We arrive safely at the Pragati Maiden station and I inform Mandy of the pick pocket attempt, we both have a chuckle and continue on our way. We file into the street with everyone leaving the train, not unlike cattle being led to slaughter. We wander around trying to find our bearings, sticking with the crowd into a line of tuk-tuk drivers. I think about what the other tuk-tuk driver said about the zoo being closed, and I get it in my head that we should do the zoo last, just on the off chance he was telling the truth. A tuk-tuk driver approaches us and I ask, "How much to the Lodi garden?" and he says "Meter." I say again, "How much to the Lodi garden?" and he says, "Meter, meter." Then, for some silly reason I say, "Ok."
This is one of the oldest cons in the book of tourist cons. Meters in India are most definitely for suckers, and I should know better. Mandy shoots me a look as if saying, "What the hell are you doing?" and I just kind of nod back "I got this." Meters are for suckers because the meter is either rigged, or the driver will at some point "get lost" on the ride, running up the meter.
Our tuk-tuk driver proceeds to run up his meter for the next hour and a half. We confirm this about 5 minutes in, as we were somewhat familiar with the city from doing research online before we came. Mandy makes a note on our map, "Don't pay him more than 50 rupees." I nod back at her. Our driver, unaware that his con has now turned into our con, continues giving us a free tour of Delhi. He takes us by shanty towns, shops, beautiful buildings, through good and bad neighbourhoods, he took us everywhere he could think to drive... running up the meter the whole time.
In a rather sleazy part of town we got into a traffic jam and we were quickly surrounded by children beggars. In the entire time I was in India, I have not seen a child that looked starving. All the kids seem well fed, even the dirt poor ones. The children that I have had beg often are wearing nice clothes, and they beg with a smirk on their face. In other words, they are doing it for a goof. A goof that may just pay off if they find a dumb enough white person. Well, that isn't us.
These children circle in on our tuk-tuk, begging and smiling as we continue saying "No. No. No." They are wearing nice clothing, and they are speaking to us in English which screams out to me that they have money. To learn English would mean the children would have to go to school, which means their parents would have to have enough money to pay for school, which in turn means they don't need to beg.
Our driver tries to shoo the children away, uncomfortably looking back at us. I felt like he was worried somehow their con would mess up his. This one boy focuses in on me, he is probably about 8 or 9 years old. He raises his open palm acting out that he will smack me if I don't give him any money. I raise my hand and bring it down swiftly pretending that I will smack him back very hard if he does. We smile at each other, and I continue to tell these kids "No. No. No." All at once the traffic clears, and all the kids start to make back to the side walk so they aren't standing in the traffic, all but the kid focused on me. He keeps smiling at me until our tuk-tuk starts to pull off. All at once he reaches in and taps me softly on my cheek. It was all a game to him. He won. lol
We realise our driver has now driven us back almost to our neighbourhood we started from earlier, and we decided we have had about enough of our free tour. I would like to point out that he drove us in the complete and opposite direction we asked to go for almost an hour. We are in a completely different part of town than we were just in, and a totally different part of town than where we were supposed to be. At this point, I'm kinda worried that he will just boot us out where we are, and we will be stuck in the middle of nowhere.
I confront the driver with the map after passing under a metro station, showing him where the station is on the map, and where the Lodi garden is on the map. I then say, "Lodi garden? Take us to Lodi garden?" He pulls over. He looks at our map, then he looks back at us sheepishly and starts laughing. He then says, "LODI garden. I think you say 'Rory garden'." He tries to laugh it off, but we push on to confront him. "Ok, show us Rory garden. Where is Rory garden?" (Rory garden doesn't exist) He laughs some more, then says "Very mistake!" and smacks his head in shock. Shock!
Our unscrupulous driver makes an about face and proceeds to go turn for turn down the way he drove us, all the way until we were about a 5 minute drive away from where we started. Then he makes a right instead of a left. From there its a short 5 more minutes to the entrance to the Lodi garden. So, a two hour drive for what should have taken 10 minutes. Thanks driver.
To be fair, we knew what was going on the whole time... but that doesn't mean I had any intention of paying him for it. For all he knew we were some dumb white tourists who had no clue where we were, and who knows when he would have stopped had we not stopped him. He showed no signs of turning on his own. The meter read 180 rupees, which included a 40 rupee charge for time sitting. The correct ride should have cost around 20 rupees or so Indian prices. Mandy wanted me to pay him 50 rupees, I settled on 60.
As we step out of the tuk-tuk our driver innocently expresses again, "Very mistake, only 160 rupees." and points at the meter. Wow, a 20 rupee discount, what a steal. I give him 60 rupees and say, "No, 60." and he smiles and says, "No 100 rupees minimum for gas." and I say "No, 60." and close my wallet. He continues a one sided argument for a while as I just stare at him. Eventually I just say, "Then just call the cops, I'll wait." As I say that, we both look over and see a cop leaning up against a wall by the gate to the Lodi garden. I motion over to the cop as if I am presenting him as a gift to the driver. I look at the driver and he just shrugs. I didn't think so. With our adventure over, and a con reversed, we turn and walk into the Lodi garden.
I don't feel bad because I still paid quite a bit more than what the original fare should have been. My real hope is that I will serve as a lesson to that driver, and he will think twice before running some tourists the complete wrong way. This wasn't the only driver that we ended up paying what we thought was fair (not what they thought was fair) and then just walking off, he was just the most egregious. We even agreed on an unfair price a few times just for the ride, and then stiffed the driver, again telling them to call the police if they felt that wronged by us. Even when we "ripped off" the drivers, we were still paying far more than what Indians would have paid for the same fare. I suppose it all evens out somewhere. Even though we are paying more than Indian prices, and sometimes less than they want, it still ends up only costing us no more than 2 dollars on average. Sometimes its just fun to haggle, and sometimes its better to pay what you think is fair and just walk away after services rendered.
Tomorrow's update will start inside the Lodi garden, and it will have lots of pictures to make up for none today!
Peace and Love,
Allen
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